My youth has indeed officially expired. Turning 21, I honestly don't have any expectations of major life changes but I do know that my previous year gave me experiences that led to sageness.
I moved out at the age of 20 and truth be told, I was not ready to leave everything- my family, friends, old habits that I was unsure if I can take with me to Dubai- in short, my life. Nevertheless, I've learned that I should always seek positivity in every unwanted and surprising circumstances. Hence, I viewed my departure as a portal to welcome new opportunities specifically, finding a job.
My job hunting adventure is not a piece of cake. I attended interviews, even done one-day trials but haven't heard the line that I'm waiting for- "You're hired, Ms.Milca!". Nada. Until now, I am still unemployed, still sending my CV to online job portals, waiting to land on that one job. When I passed the board exam, I thought, "This is it. Employment here I come." Wrong thought, I guess. I felt that I left myself there, and I'm a useless, lost individual now. Why? Well, aside from being jobless, it feels like I'm not growing and striving. Reading the tweets of my batch mates, complaining how difficult and stressful their jobs are, or how they hate "adulting"- I just wish that I can relate to them, how I also want to be stressed out because of daily adulting, or how I wish I am also earning so I can help with our house bills. Imagine the self-loathe, the lack of trust in oneself, standing on the brink of giving up, and the feeling of being left behind. I snapped out of it. I don't deserve this kind of treatment I am giving myself.
“Think positive” and “everything happens for a reason”- yes, cliché but I always remind myself. This isn't a race where I should be competing with my batch mates. Their time has arrived, and mine will also come. Patience is the virtue I am holding right now and also trust in God's timing. Hence, I seize every moment, every opportunity that will take me to success, to that job I am eagerly and patiently waiting for.
So let me quote myself, "Turning 21, I honestly don't have any expectations...". WHO AM I KIDDING? This is the perfect time to look out and anticipate vast possibilities that will shape me into an empowered individual, a stage where I become more insightful, and a step where I must always discover and understand the meaning of life. At 21, rejection and pain will still come my way but I'm not terrified, for I know it will make me stronger. At 21, uncertainty will still be present but I will embrace it. At 21, foolish decisions will still be made but I won’t regret it because I will learn afterward. At 21, my personality will still develop and this will help me know myself more. At 21, I may lose some people but there is a chance that I will meet new ones. At 21, whether I like it or not, I may not still be the person I aspire to be, but it is okay, it is going to be okay because for what it’s worth, I have the courage to ceaselessly create the best version of myself. After all, I’m just twenty-one and still learning.
Ergo, if there are instances in your life (for in my case, being jobless after college equates to being stagnant and futile),where you doubt yourself, when you feel like your stuck, or when you think you are headed nowhere- pause. I've learned how essential it is to pause and devote time for yourself. Find yourself again, be a source of positivity not only for yourself buy for others as well, be patient, venture where you feel most valued, and put God first always.
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